亲爱的家长,
I have been working in the area of students with disabilities at the college level for more than 30 years, 但这不是我今天给你写信的原因. I am writing as a parent, 和 thus as someone who shares all your current anxieties.
If you are worried that your child with a disability will have a difficult time making a successful transition to college without your involvement, 那么你的担心可能是对的. 很少有残疾儿童能在大学水平上取得成功. 另一方面, students with disabilities survive 和 thrive on college campuses across the country. 如果你仍然认为你的儿子或女儿是你的“孩子”,他们仍然坦然接受这个角色, it is time to take a careful look at where you have come from 和 what lies before you. 作为父母, it is time for us to step back 和 allow/encourage/gently nudge our SWD’s (students with disabilities) to assume significant independent responsibility for their own lives, 无论是学术上还是个人上.
第一个, colleges 和 universities provide services 和 support to SWD under very different laws than those that governed services in the K–12 system. 作为家长，我没有权利 504条/ ADA 为我在上大学的社工说话.
(如果您不确定“504条/ ADA”在这种情况下是什么意思, perhaps the disability service provider you meet with will have gathered some information that helps explain the differences between settings, 法律上和实践上. 我最喜欢的两个网站是 www.ed.gov /赌博十大靠谱软件/办公室/清单/ ocr /过渡.html 和 www.希斯.乔治华盛顿.edu/).
The services 和 support available to a SWD are sometimes very different than what was provided in high school, 和 the college is under no obligation to continue the services given in high school, 或者遵循外部诊断专家的建议. The college will make its own determination of what services 和 support to offer based on the documentation of disability 和 their interview with your SWD. There are no IEP’s in college, there is no place to sign off with my parental approval. 事实上，从法律上讲，学校不必关心我是否满意. 我女儿现在要对她自己的命运负责了.
- DON’T be insulted if you are not invited to sit in on the initial meeting between your SWD 和 the disability services folks. Some institutions have found that it is helpful for them to speak directly (和 alone!) to the student in order to get a feel for how knowledgeable 和 confident s/he is in sharing information about past services, 什么有用，什么没用, 以及他们希望在大学阶段有什么样的住宿条件. 你们将有机会提问, 但要认识到，它可能会晚点到来, 而不是更早.
- 如果你被邀请参加残疾人服务人员的会议， DO acknowledge your SWD as the authority on their disability-related needs by making it clear that you believe they have all the answers! Try focusing your visual attention on your son or daughter instead of trying to make eye contact with the interviewer. 如果你关注你的社会福利署，那么专业人士也会关注.
- 不要以“S/He needs to have…”开头。 而不是, 你可以试试, 高中的时候, s/he had…” or “The person who tested him/her suggested…” but it would actually be better if you said nothing at all! 在会议上尽量少说话. 这不是你的会议. 记住，你是作为一个观察者，而不是参与者.
- 提前花点时间让你的儿子/女儿做好准备吗 on the issues that you think need to be discussed — the things that you would say if you had the chance. 列出你要提出的话题, 解释为什么你认为每一个都是重要的, 并确保你的社工在面试时手边有这份清单. 和你的儿子/女儿一起排练，如果他们允许的话. If they are typical teens 和 aren’t comfortable sitting through that kind of rehearsal, settle for making them sit 和 listen while you demonstrate how you would approach certain subjects. 例如, “I think you should tell them about how the teachers arranged for extra time for you on tests when you were in high school. 我可能会说, 在高中的时候, I was allowed extra time for tests in English because it takes me a long time to put my thoughts in writing, 但我在数学上从不需要它.’”你的社工可能不认可你分享的策略, but you may be surprised to hear those words come out of his or her mouth at the interview!
- 不要打断. 如果你不同意残疾人服务提供者说的话, 或者如果你的社会福利署说的是你知道是不正确的, or if you see your SWD agreeing with/to something when you know they have no idea what they are agreeing to – DON’T INTERRUPT! 让面试进行到底. 给残疾服务提供者一个机会，让你的社署人员进一步向你提出要求, 给你的社署一个澄清的机会, 或者只是等着看混乱/分歧是否仍然存在. It is important to know just how independent 和 accurate students are in describing their needs. 你会有机会的.
- 是否鼓励你的儿子或女儿说出来 并在面试过程中分享这些要点. 而不是 of explaining to the disability service provider why Johnny needs a calculator in math classes, 转身对约翰尼说, “你为什么不向她解释一下呢?. ____ why it is important for you to have a calculator for math 和 science classes. 是因为你排列列有困难吗, 或者因为你记不住基本的数学知识 ...” 给 an open-ended question that encourages your SWD to flesh out the response. At the same time, you are hinting to the interviewer that there is an issue here to be discussed. (见? 我说过你会有机会的!)
为什么不在面试过程中做笔记呢? 当你的儿子或女儿用尽了要讨论的话题清单, 和 the disability service provider has shared all the information they thought was important, 轮到你说话了. 问你的问题吧. The most important thing to remember now is that you don’t want to undermine your son’s/daughter’s credibility. 如果你有更多赌博十大靠谱软件某个主题的信息要分享, 试着用……开始这个句子, “正如苏茜告诉你的, she has used…” 和 then add whatever you need to on top of information already given. 如果您认为您的社署提供了不正确的信息，请谨慎行事. 你可以说，“我很惊讶Jane说_____. 我会说_____, because…” You’ll get your point across without directly contradicting what your son or daughter said. Your goal is to assure both the SWD 和 the disability service provider that you are supportive of their budding underst和ing, 我只是想分享另一种观点.
An old adage maintains: There are only two things a parent can give to a child … One is roots. 另一个是翅膀.
是时候让赌博十大靠谱软件的孩子独唱了. That is a scary thought for us, as parents, 和 it is sure to be scary for them, too. 没关系. 这是赌博十大靠谱软件长期以来一直在努力实现的目标. 记住，如果你的儿子或女儿需要你，他们会打电话、发邮件或发短信. 他们知道你能为他们做什么，但现在是他们自己去做的时候了. 深呼吸，交叉手指，祝他们好运，然后走开. 一切都会好起来的!
祝你好运。
简·杰罗博士
骄傲(和恐惧)的妈妈
残疾行动信息和支持(DAIS)主席